is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
