Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
