He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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