Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
