I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
