I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
