whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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