If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
