if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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