i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
