im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
