The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
