Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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