After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
