i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
