This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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