The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
