I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
