singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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