It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
