we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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