The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Drake has all the answers
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Terrible idea I love it
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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