They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
