I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
