pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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