I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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