And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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