woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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