Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
