Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
