haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize