just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
