Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
kristin has been a bad kristin
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
