went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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