I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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