I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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