I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
what day is it and did you see me today?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
