At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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