i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
