I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
