dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Green mimosas i think yes
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
