singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
