addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
