Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
