I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
