hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
