he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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