I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
