I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
