I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
