$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
oh god the rape fog is back!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
